Sequined Skirts and Near Fatal Jumps
by TheBlondeWeasley
Summary: In which Fred cross-dresses, the twins get detention and George jumps off things.


Sequined Skirts and Near Fatal Jumps

…

"Hey George?"

"Yeah Fred?"

"Does this dress make me look fat?"

It's not every day that your twin brother swans into the room wearing what appears to be a giant pink feather duster. It does happen at least once a week though. Critically, I took in the way that the dress flared out at the hips and cast my eyes on the absence of breasts. "You need to be a bit more filled out for it to work actually." I said casually. "Is this even an improvement over the last one?"

Fred grinned, twirling around the room. "It's far more fabulous! Don't you think George?" He giggled, flopping down onto Lee's bed.

"No."

He pouted, "You're no fun Georgie!"

"Don't call me that Freddie."

"Why don't you come over here and make me Georgie!" Fred said challengingly, looking strangely fragile in his tulle prison.

Standing I made my way over to where he was splayed out on the bed. "I was told never to hit a girl." I said loftily, baiting him.

Fred glared at me. "I'm not a girl." He yelled, springing up at me. Casually I side stepped him and he overbalanced, tripping on his dress and hitting the floor with a thud. "How's that dress working out for you, then?" I snickered.

"I'll get you next time!" He vowed as I headed out.

"Morning George!" Katie blushed as I walked down the stairs.

I struggled not to role my eyes. "Fourth years…" I mumbled before smiling at her. "Hello Katie."

"I was wondering if you're doing anything for the first Hogsmeade trip?" She giggled.

I nodded, feeling slightly guilty when her face fell. She was lovely really… I just didn't go for the ones with the boobies, that's all. "I was just going to spend some time here with Fred."

"Okay then…" She mumbled, running off.

Ron laughed from his armchair. "Breaking another girl's heart, eh Fred?"

"George and yes." I said shortly before leaving the common room.

Then I jumped off the closest staircase.

…

"What on Earth would possess you to do such a thing, Mr Weasley?" McGoogles shouted.

Fred shrugged, "It wasn't going to kill me!" He laughed, winking at me when she'd turned away.

"Did you know he was going to do this?" She demanded and yes I had known because it was me… not him. Teachers these days…

"No!" I said, infusing enough shock into my voice to be believable. "George are you trying to kill yourself?" I yelled, tears filling my eyes. I was good.

Fred shook his head. "Course not… I was just testing a theory." He improvised.

"What sort of madcap theory involves jumping to your death?" She was pissed alright.

"I was seeing if the wards worked." Fred was running out of interesting lies… I'd have to help him out later. "Because the staircases move so I assume that people have fallen before… I just wanted to see if it would catch me?" He said lamely.

McGonagall believed him though. "Detention Mr Weasley." She glared at him, "You'll be spending the first Hogsmeade weekend with Hagrid in the Forbidden forest.

"Can I go?" I said mock worriedly, "Just to make sure he doesn't…" I lowered my voice looking at her imploringly. "Try to off himself or something."

She near melted. "If that's how you want to spend your weekend Mr Weasley then I won't begrudge you." She glared at Fred. "Now out with you both, report to the edge of the forest at ten tomorrow."

Phase One: Completed.

…

The next morning we set off for Hagrid's hut, Marauder's Map in hand for a certain Mr Potter.

"You need this more than us mate." I said earnestly, "Go have a blast, steal some fire whiskey and bring it back for us, yeah?"

Fred nodded enthusiastically, "And some chocolate." I rolled my eyes and he glared at me. "S'good for the soul is chocolate."

Harry ran off, grinning like a madman. "Thanks guys!"

"Chocolate!" Fred yelled after him.

"I say fire whiskey and you say chocolate... glad we've got our priorities straight."

Fred laughed at me. "It's not my fault that I've got a more refined palette than you."

"Let's get this detention started, shall we?" I sighed.

Fred looked at me curiously. "So why did you jump off the staircase?"

"Gravity." I said simply. Let Fred work that one out.

…

Hagrid was away due to 'unforseen circumstances'.

Phase Two: Completed.

"What the hell do we do now?" Fred bitched.

I laughed because he still hadn't clued in on my plan. "We get on with the work." I said sarcastically, pointing at the closest path in. "We're searching for possible disturbances in the creature-repellent wards…" I couldn't help but be interested and asked him thoughtfully. "Wonder if they repel werewolves?"

Fred rolled his eyes. "I'd think so George… in fact I'd bloody well hope so."

"What about the Shrieking Shack though?" I pointed out as we wandered into the trees. "There's something pretty peculiar about that place? Bet it housed some sort of creature."

"You think too much." Fred laughed, lacing our fingers together.

I looked at them for a moment. "You'd think we were in a relationship if it wasn't for the fact that we look exactly the same."

Fred laughed, swinging our arms as we walked. "You can be the girly one."

"Not bloody likely, you're the cross-dresser."

"How about we both be male?"

I smirked, "Is this you trying to ask me out."

He kissed me on the cheek and we both cackled. "We both know you would accept in a heartbeat darling!"

"Admittedly you're quite good-looking." I mused, "Second only to me."

"Am not!"

Ignoring him I continued. "But your personality leaves something to be desired."

"Oi!"

We passed through the Hogwart's wards.

Phase Three: Completed.

"We're here!" I sang.

"Where?" Fred asked curiously.

I smiled widely. "Here is where we are going to test gravity."

Fred's jaw dropped. "Have you been planning this all along?"

"Obviously!" I scoffed. "I can't believe you hadn't figured it out."

"Did you bring me the skirt?" He asked hesitantly and giggling I pulled a short sequined number out of my jacket. "Have fun freezing your bits off as we hurtle towards the ground."

Fred whooped, though he still seemed quite nervous. "Are we really going to do this?"

I yanked down my trousers, revealing a rather fetching pair of silver shorts. "Hell yes!"

Then we set out to climb a tree.

…

"It's quite high isn't it?" Fred yelled over the wind, holding down the skirt. "What if we die?"

I grinned happily. "If anyone's going to die it'll be you. How long have you spent trying to perfect that bloody skirt?"

"Too bloody long." He mumbled, grabbing my hand. "On three?"

I nodded, steeling myself. "One."

"Two."

"Three!" We screamed as we jumped.

For a few heart-wrenching moments we were in free fall. Then we weren't. "Let go of my hand." I said to Fred, whose eyes were still clenched shut in terror.

"No." He screeched, holding on even tighter.

I yanked my hand out of his grasp and he whimpered. "Open your eyes Fred." I said breathlessly. "We did it mate, no brooms..."

We finished together. "We're flying…"

...

* * *

_Well this was... interesting to write. I'd really appreciate it if you left a review telling me your thoughts :)_


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